hai....whats wrong with me lately?lately parang lagi nalang ako depressed..basta ang labo ng mood ko..hai..why is it na this year i dont feel anything regarding the break...am i getting too old for this kind of celebrations?ewan.
i would just be glad to get this year over with :
current mood: Confuse...and feeling down :(
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
soo....whose right?
ANG MGA BABAE TALAGA OO by redrope
*grabe. usapang lalake* *sindi ng yosi*
*hithit* *buga* Musta na, pare? Ako, okay lang. Eto. Nagmumuni-muni. Nag-iisip. Minsan talaga may mga bagay na hindi ko maintindihan. Ewan ko ba. *hinga ng malalim* Bakit ba ganun pare, ilang beses ko na pinag-aralan pero lagi na lang lumalabas na parang kahit 'sang anggulo mo tingnan, hindi nagiging patas para sa mga lalake ang ilang bagay pagdating sa pagmamahal. *tingin sa stars* Minsan naiisip ko,
alam kaya ng mga babae ang hirap ng lalake na gumawa ng first move para magtapat ng pagmamahal?
E yung hirap na dinadaanan sa panliligaw at pagsuyo sa mahal nya?
Ang feeling ng masaktan pag nabasted?
Malamang-lamang siguro, hindi ano. Wala naman yata silang alam sa mga paghihirap naten e. Ang alam lang ata nila e mamili, manakit, at magsaya. Tingin mo? *tingin sa malayo* Lagi naman ganun. Una pa lang,
lalake na ang naghihirap.
Hassle saten ang panliligaw pero bago pa yun, kung ano pang diskarte ang gagawin naten para masabi naten sa kanila na mahal natin sila. Alam kaya nila yun?
Mahirap magsabi na mahal mo na yung babae, diba?
Tapos liligawan pa naten. Patutunayan na mahal nga sila. Susuyuin to-the-max.Maghahatid sa bahay, tutulungan, sasabayan, palalamunin, pagtyatyagaan, lahat na. Kulang na lang e pagsilbihan mo nang walang sahod.
At ano ang kapalit?
Well, depende sa trip nila.
Oo tol, sa trip lang nila. Wala silang pake kesehodang mahal natin talaga sila. Basta ang alam nila, pag di nila tayo trip, isang malaking HINDE ang makukuha naten, kahit umiyak pa tayo ng dugo o lumuhod sa mga asing buu-buo. Para lang silang namimili ng damit na di man lang sinusukat bago ayawan.
Kaya kahit mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal natin, sorry tayo.
Hindi nila alam kung mahal mo sila. Kailangan mong maabot ang kanilang mga standards o uuwi ka lang na bad trip, iiling-iling, at minsan, luhaan. Wala tayong magagawa, marami silang alibi.
"Hindi pa 'ko ready eh..",
"Sorry pero I think we should just be friends..",
"Ha? Uhhmm..nagpapatawa ka ba? Hahahaha.."
"Better luck next time na lang muna, okay lang?",
"Give me a decade. Pag-iisipan ko muna..",
"Para lang kitang kapatid e..",
yaddah yaddah. Isang malaking pagsasaklob ng langit at lupa 'yon para saten. *kuha ng bote ng beer*
*lagok* *lunok* At hindi lang 'yon tol. Sa pre-relationship stage pa lang yon. Pag sinagot na nila tayo, satin pa rin ang hassle.
Tayo daw ang mga lalake kaya tayo ang hahawak ng relasyon. Tayo ang aayos kung may gulo; tayo ang dapat magpapakabait; tayo ang magtatyaga; tayo ang magiging devoted at faithful; tayo, tayo tayo.
Sila? Ummm? Teka, isipin ko. Ayun.
Sila ang magsasabi kung anong oras kayo dapat magmeet; sila ang magtetext ng mga mushy at kabalbalang texts; sila ang magdedemand sayo ng kung anu-ano; sila ang magbabawal; sila ang magsasabi kung kelan ka dapat mag-shave, kung kelan ka pwedeng tumawag sa bahay nila, kung kelan sila di dapat bad tripin dahil meron sila, at kung kelan ka korni.
Ewan. Ganun ata talaga. *kuha ng bote ng beer* *lagok* *lunok* Hindi pa yun tapos pare, dahil dapat tayo angbahala kung ano ang magiging takbo ng relasyon. Pag maganda, edi okay. Pag may problema, kasalanan naten. Haay buhay. Minsan talaga kung tutuusin sakit sila ng ulo. Kaya lang mahal naten kaya di na natin iniintindi yun. *hinga ng malalim* Pero alam mo tol,
feeling ko mas sincere pa tayo magmahal sa kanila. Alam mo yun, iba tayo magmahal e. Hindi lang parang laru-laro lang. Seryoso. At kung magmahal man tayo, lubus-lubusan. Mas mature. Hindi yung parang pambata lang gaya nila na kesyo magseselos-selos, iiyak-iyak, iina-inarte, dadradrama, at kung anu-ano pa. Hindi lang kababawan. Ka-mushyhan. Kababaihan. Iba tayo pag nagmahal.
*hinga ng malalim* *tingin sa malayo ulit* At ito pa ang pinakamasaklap. *singhot* Ang ending ng relasyon. Sa mga panahong 'to, either
sawa na sila,
hindi na tayo trip,
may nahanap na silang better saten,
o kaya they need f*cking space and time muna.
Bad trip no? Wala na naman tayong choice. Sila ang masusunod. At ano pa ang kasamang hassle don?Syempre wasak na ang imahe naten. Tayo ang lalabas na may kasalanan.Na playboy.
Na nagpapaiyak. *iiling* Tayo siyempre ang mga
antagonist at sila yung mga bidang inaapi at parang mga pusang iiyak-iyak.
Ang ending: mag-ooffer sila ng "friendship" kuno matapos tayong pagsawaan, lahat ng gifts naten nasa kanila, sawi tayo sa pag-ibig, "player" na ang image naten, at higit sa lahat, mag-iisip kung papaano ipagpapatuloy ang buhay. Maiiwan tayong tulala, mag-iisip kung saan nagkamali, mamomroblema sa pag-aadjust sa pagiging single, at di na naman makakatulog. Haay buhay. Ang hirap maging lalake. Lagi ka na lang naiiwan sa ere. Ano? Hindi ka na nagsalita? In-love ka no? Ako, kamusta? Eto.Yoyosi-yosi. Bubuntong-buntong hininga. Titingin-tingin sa bituin. Mumuni-muni. Lalagok-lagok ng alak.
Ang mga babae talaga, oo.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
ANG MGA LALAKE TALAGA, OO(tugon kay redrope)by xristel
Ano ba itong si redrope? Kaming mga babae na naman ang nakita. Lalake, agrabyado. Lalake, kinakawawa. Lalake, hindi maintindihan. Hmmp, parang masyado yatang nagisa ang mga kabaro ko. Tungkol sa pagiging patas sa ngalan ng pag-ibig, kami naman ang laging talo a, hindi kayo. Kami ang laging lugi, kami ang lagging nawawalan at iniiwan. Kapag ngumiti ka na ng konti, nag-ayos ng konti pagkakamalan ka nang malandi. Hindi pangseryosohang relasyon. Marinig lang nila na malakas kang mag! sa! lita, palengkera ka na. T.O. kagad sa kanila iyon. Mahilig silang tumingin sa mga babaeng sexy manamit, kulang nalang makita na kaluluwa. Pero kapag babaeng seryosohin at gustong ligawan dapat disente, dapat mala-anghel ang mukha, dapat mukhang inosente. Tapos kami pa raw ang mahilig mamili?
Parang baliktad yata? Ok, ayan nanliligaw na si lalake. Dapat pakipot ka para suyuin ka,para habulin ka pa lalo.
Kapag hindi ka naman nagpakipot "easy to get" naman ang tingin sa iyo.
Hindi ka na seseryosohin. Sino bang may sabing magpaalila kayo, di naman namin hawak ang buhay niyo. Natural lang na magtiis kayo, may gusto kayo sa amin eh. Kapag nakuha niyo na iyon wala na lahat ng mga paghihirap niyo, babaliktad na ang sitwasyon kami naman ang mamromroblema. Para lang kayong may gustong bilhin na bagay. Upang mabili ito kailangan munang magsakripisyo, magtipid, magtiis. Pag nabili na at mapagsawaan wala na, balewala na. Diyan ka na sa tabi-tabi. !
"Tawagan nalang kita pag trip ko o kaya'y pag may gusto akong ipagawa sa iyo."
Ano pa ba? E di sinagot mo na diba. Utang na loob pa natin yun. Dahil naghirap daw sila sa panliligaw dapat masuklian natin iyon ng higit pa. Sa umpisa kailangan malambing ka, maayos at laging magsisilbi sa kanya. Ayaw daw nilang humawak ng relasyon, pero kapag ikaw naman ang nagmando, aba, masasakal naman. Sasabihin pa sa iyo
"demanding" ka.
Meron ka pang maririnig na
"I think we need space"
at kung anu-ano pang ek-ek. Sino rin may sabing di dapat kami magpakabait, maging devoted at faithful? Kapag kami ang sumaway niyang mga iyan, iba na ang tingin sa amin.
Malandi na kami, haliparot, pakawala, makikay at kung anu-ano pang mga bansag ang itatawag sa amin
Kapag kayo gumawa noon, ok lang. Lalake kayo eh, macho kayo pag ginawa niyo yon. Kaya kami, walang magawa. Magpapakaburo atmagpapakamadre nalang. Kapag nagloko na kayo ano pa bang magagawa namin? Eh di iiyak nalang. Wala namang ibang magagawa eh. Tungkol naman sa tinatawag niyong pagdedemand namin. Hindi kami nagdedemand! Karapatan lang namin iyon. Karapatan namin na lambingin niyo kami, icheck at ipakita ! sa amin na mahal niyo kami. Hindi rin ibig sabihin na mas sincere kayo sa amin. Seryoso rin naman kami ah. At ang maturity wala yan sa edad. Mas maaga nga kaming magmature sa inyo. Ang isang 19 year old na lalake eh, isip 15 pa yun. It follows iyan sa lahat ng age group. Mas mataas pa nga kung minsan ang pagbawas ng level of maturity. Kayo na ang mag-math. Pati yung pag-iyak namin pinupuntirya niyo. Kesyo drama daw. Diba kapag umiyak ka nagbuhos ka ng emosyon diyan. Ano tingin niyo sa amin mga artista?! Alam niyo iyon?
Yun bang kulang nalang ay lumuha ka na ng dugo, pero hindi ka pa rin papansinin. Sasabihan ka pang tigilan na ang pagdradrama.
Hindi nila kami maiintindihan kapag nagseselos kami.Bakit naman kami magseselos kung wala kaming nakikita? Mas iba kaming magmahal. Mas masarap. Kapag natapos na ang lambingan, eh di siyempre iwanan blues na.Kami pa raw ang nagsawa, kami pa raw ang nagtritrip lang. Sino ba ang lumalayas kapag may nakita nang bago, sino ba ang mayabang, sino ba ang nagmamalaki? Kami ba? Kami ang walang choice. Kasi ang babae pag sinabing "break na tayo" lambingin lang iyan ng konti balikan blues na iyan.
Kapag ang lalake ang umayaw, pucha, bahala ka diyan. Kahit mag-tambling ka pa sa harap niya. Wa-epek. Umiyak ka ng bato.Wa-epek. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tapos sila pa raw ang kawawa.
Post-break up, mahal pa ng babae si lalaki. Sasamantalahin ni lalaki. Magpapagawa ng kung anu-ano.
Naaalala ka lang kapag may kailangan sa iyo.
Kapag pumangit ka after the break up, magpapasalamat sila na iniwan ka nila. Kapag gumanda ka naman, ipagkakalat nila sa buong sangkatauhan na naging girlfriend ka niya. Sala sa init sala sa lamig talaga. Ano ba namang buhay to? Ang hirap ding maging babae ano. Kala nila laging sila nalang. Lagi rin kaming naiiwan sa ere. In-love din kami. Ang mga lalake talaga, oo. LOVE knows no reasons, love knows no lies, love defies all reasons, love has no eyes. But love is not blind -- LOVE sees, but it doesn't mind. - Ü
*grabe. usapang lalake* *sindi ng yosi*
*hithit* *buga* Musta na, pare? Ako, okay lang. Eto. Nagmumuni-muni. Nag-iisip. Minsan talaga may mga bagay na hindi ko maintindihan. Ewan ko ba. *hinga ng malalim* Bakit ba ganun pare, ilang beses ko na pinag-aralan pero lagi na lang lumalabas na parang kahit 'sang anggulo mo tingnan, hindi nagiging patas para sa mga lalake ang ilang bagay pagdating sa pagmamahal. *tingin sa stars* Minsan naiisip ko,
alam kaya ng mga babae ang hirap ng lalake na gumawa ng first move para magtapat ng pagmamahal?
E yung hirap na dinadaanan sa panliligaw at pagsuyo sa mahal nya?
Ang feeling ng masaktan pag nabasted?
Malamang-lamang siguro, hindi ano. Wala naman yata silang alam sa mga paghihirap naten e. Ang alam lang ata nila e mamili, manakit, at magsaya. Tingin mo? *tingin sa malayo* Lagi naman ganun. Una pa lang,
lalake na ang naghihirap.
Hassle saten ang panliligaw pero bago pa yun, kung ano pang diskarte ang gagawin naten para masabi naten sa kanila na mahal natin sila. Alam kaya nila yun?
Mahirap magsabi na mahal mo na yung babae, diba?
Tapos liligawan pa naten. Patutunayan na mahal nga sila. Susuyuin to-the-max.Maghahatid sa bahay, tutulungan, sasabayan, palalamunin, pagtyatyagaan, lahat na. Kulang na lang e pagsilbihan mo nang walang sahod.
At ano ang kapalit?
Well, depende sa trip nila.
Oo tol, sa trip lang nila. Wala silang pake kesehodang mahal natin talaga sila. Basta ang alam nila, pag di nila tayo trip, isang malaking HINDE ang makukuha naten, kahit umiyak pa tayo ng dugo o lumuhod sa mga asing buu-buo. Para lang silang namimili ng damit na di man lang sinusukat bago ayawan.
Kaya kahit mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal natin, sorry tayo.
Hindi nila alam kung mahal mo sila. Kailangan mong maabot ang kanilang mga standards o uuwi ka lang na bad trip, iiling-iling, at minsan, luhaan. Wala tayong magagawa, marami silang alibi.
"Hindi pa 'ko ready eh..",
"Sorry pero I think we should just be friends..",
"Ha? Uhhmm..nagpapatawa ka ba? Hahahaha.."
"Better luck next time na lang muna, okay lang?",
"Give me a decade. Pag-iisipan ko muna..",
"Para lang kitang kapatid e..",
yaddah yaddah. Isang malaking pagsasaklob ng langit at lupa 'yon para saten. *kuha ng bote ng beer*
*lagok* *lunok* At hindi lang 'yon tol. Sa pre-relationship stage pa lang yon. Pag sinagot na nila tayo, satin pa rin ang hassle.
Tayo daw ang mga lalake kaya tayo ang hahawak ng relasyon. Tayo ang aayos kung may gulo; tayo ang dapat magpapakabait; tayo ang magtatyaga; tayo ang magiging devoted at faithful; tayo, tayo tayo.
Sila? Ummm? Teka, isipin ko. Ayun.
Sila ang magsasabi kung anong oras kayo dapat magmeet; sila ang magtetext ng mga mushy at kabalbalang texts; sila ang magdedemand sayo ng kung anu-ano; sila ang magbabawal; sila ang magsasabi kung kelan ka dapat mag-shave, kung kelan ka pwedeng tumawag sa bahay nila, kung kelan sila di dapat bad tripin dahil meron sila, at kung kelan ka korni.
Ewan. Ganun ata talaga. *kuha ng bote ng beer* *lagok* *lunok* Hindi pa yun tapos pare, dahil dapat tayo angbahala kung ano ang magiging takbo ng relasyon. Pag maganda, edi okay. Pag may problema, kasalanan naten. Haay buhay. Minsan talaga kung tutuusin sakit sila ng ulo. Kaya lang mahal naten kaya di na natin iniintindi yun. *hinga ng malalim* Pero alam mo tol,
feeling ko mas sincere pa tayo magmahal sa kanila. Alam mo yun, iba tayo magmahal e. Hindi lang parang laru-laro lang. Seryoso. At kung magmahal man tayo, lubus-lubusan. Mas mature. Hindi yung parang pambata lang gaya nila na kesyo magseselos-selos, iiyak-iyak, iina-inarte, dadradrama, at kung anu-ano pa. Hindi lang kababawan. Ka-mushyhan. Kababaihan. Iba tayo pag nagmahal.
*hinga ng malalim* *tingin sa malayo ulit* At ito pa ang pinakamasaklap. *singhot* Ang ending ng relasyon. Sa mga panahong 'to, either
sawa na sila,
hindi na tayo trip,
may nahanap na silang better saten,
o kaya they need f*cking space and time muna.
Bad trip no? Wala na naman tayong choice. Sila ang masusunod. At ano pa ang kasamang hassle don?Syempre wasak na ang imahe naten. Tayo ang lalabas na may kasalanan.Na playboy.
Na nagpapaiyak. *iiling* Tayo siyempre ang mga
antagonist at sila yung mga bidang inaapi at parang mga pusang iiyak-iyak.
Ang ending: mag-ooffer sila ng "friendship" kuno matapos tayong pagsawaan, lahat ng gifts naten nasa kanila, sawi tayo sa pag-ibig, "player" na ang image naten, at higit sa lahat, mag-iisip kung papaano ipagpapatuloy ang buhay. Maiiwan tayong tulala, mag-iisip kung saan nagkamali, mamomroblema sa pag-aadjust sa pagiging single, at di na naman makakatulog. Haay buhay. Ang hirap maging lalake. Lagi ka na lang naiiwan sa ere. Ano? Hindi ka na nagsalita? In-love ka no? Ako, kamusta? Eto.Yoyosi-yosi. Bubuntong-buntong hininga. Titingin-tingin sa bituin. Mumuni-muni. Lalagok-lagok ng alak.
Ang mga babae talaga, oo.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
ANG MGA LALAKE TALAGA, OO(tugon kay redrope)by xristel
Ano ba itong si redrope? Kaming mga babae na naman ang nakita. Lalake, agrabyado. Lalake, kinakawawa. Lalake, hindi maintindihan. Hmmp, parang masyado yatang nagisa ang mga kabaro ko. Tungkol sa pagiging patas sa ngalan ng pag-ibig, kami naman ang laging talo a, hindi kayo. Kami ang laging lugi, kami ang lagging nawawalan at iniiwan. Kapag ngumiti ka na ng konti, nag-ayos ng konti pagkakamalan ka nang malandi. Hindi pangseryosohang relasyon. Marinig lang nila na malakas kang mag! sa! lita, palengkera ka na. T.O. kagad sa kanila iyon. Mahilig silang tumingin sa mga babaeng sexy manamit, kulang nalang makita na kaluluwa. Pero kapag babaeng seryosohin at gustong ligawan dapat disente, dapat mala-anghel ang mukha, dapat mukhang inosente. Tapos kami pa raw ang mahilig mamili?
Parang baliktad yata? Ok, ayan nanliligaw na si lalake. Dapat pakipot ka para suyuin ka,para habulin ka pa lalo.
Kapag hindi ka naman nagpakipot "easy to get" naman ang tingin sa iyo.
Hindi ka na seseryosohin. Sino bang may sabing magpaalila kayo, di naman namin hawak ang buhay niyo. Natural lang na magtiis kayo, may gusto kayo sa amin eh. Kapag nakuha niyo na iyon wala na lahat ng mga paghihirap niyo, babaliktad na ang sitwasyon kami naman ang mamromroblema. Para lang kayong may gustong bilhin na bagay. Upang mabili ito kailangan munang magsakripisyo, magtipid, magtiis. Pag nabili na at mapagsawaan wala na, balewala na. Diyan ka na sa tabi-tabi. !
"Tawagan nalang kita pag trip ko o kaya'y pag may gusto akong ipagawa sa iyo."
Ano pa ba? E di sinagot mo na diba. Utang na loob pa natin yun. Dahil naghirap daw sila sa panliligaw dapat masuklian natin iyon ng higit pa. Sa umpisa kailangan malambing ka, maayos at laging magsisilbi sa kanya. Ayaw daw nilang humawak ng relasyon, pero kapag ikaw naman ang nagmando, aba, masasakal naman. Sasabihin pa sa iyo
"demanding" ka.
Meron ka pang maririnig na
"I think we need space"
at kung anu-ano pang ek-ek. Sino rin may sabing di dapat kami magpakabait, maging devoted at faithful? Kapag kami ang sumaway niyang mga iyan, iba na ang tingin sa amin.
Malandi na kami, haliparot, pakawala, makikay at kung anu-ano pang mga bansag ang itatawag sa amin
Kapag kayo gumawa noon, ok lang. Lalake kayo eh, macho kayo pag ginawa niyo yon. Kaya kami, walang magawa. Magpapakaburo atmagpapakamadre nalang. Kapag nagloko na kayo ano pa bang magagawa namin? Eh di iiyak nalang. Wala namang ibang magagawa eh. Tungkol naman sa tinatawag niyong pagdedemand namin. Hindi kami nagdedemand! Karapatan lang namin iyon. Karapatan namin na lambingin niyo kami, icheck at ipakita ! sa amin na mahal niyo kami. Hindi rin ibig sabihin na mas sincere kayo sa amin. Seryoso rin naman kami ah. At ang maturity wala yan sa edad. Mas maaga nga kaming magmature sa inyo. Ang isang 19 year old na lalake eh, isip 15 pa yun. It follows iyan sa lahat ng age group. Mas mataas pa nga kung minsan ang pagbawas ng level of maturity. Kayo na ang mag-math. Pati yung pag-iyak namin pinupuntirya niyo. Kesyo drama daw. Diba kapag umiyak ka nagbuhos ka ng emosyon diyan. Ano tingin niyo sa amin mga artista?! Alam niyo iyon?
Yun bang kulang nalang ay lumuha ka na ng dugo, pero hindi ka pa rin papansinin. Sasabihan ka pang tigilan na ang pagdradrama.
Hindi nila kami maiintindihan kapag nagseselos kami.Bakit naman kami magseselos kung wala kaming nakikita? Mas iba kaming magmahal. Mas masarap. Kapag natapos na ang lambingan, eh di siyempre iwanan blues na.Kami pa raw ang nagsawa, kami pa raw ang nagtritrip lang. Sino ba ang lumalayas kapag may nakita nang bago, sino ba ang mayabang, sino ba ang nagmamalaki? Kami ba? Kami ang walang choice. Kasi ang babae pag sinabing "break na tayo" lambingin lang iyan ng konti balikan blues na iyan.
Kapag ang lalake ang umayaw, pucha, bahala ka diyan. Kahit mag-tambling ka pa sa harap niya. Wa-epek. Umiyak ka ng bato.Wa-epek. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tapos sila pa raw ang kawawa.
Post-break up, mahal pa ng babae si lalaki. Sasamantalahin ni lalaki. Magpapagawa ng kung anu-ano.
Naaalala ka lang kapag may kailangan sa iyo.
Kapag pumangit ka after the break up, magpapasalamat sila na iniwan ka nila. Kapag gumanda ka naman, ipagkakalat nila sa buong sangkatauhan na naging girlfriend ka niya. Sala sa init sala sa lamig talaga. Ano ba namang buhay to? Ang hirap ding maging babae ano. Kala nila laging sila nalang. Lagi rin kaming naiiwan sa ere. In-love din kami. Ang mga lalake talaga, oo. LOVE knows no reasons, love knows no lies, love defies all reasons, love has no eyes. But love is not blind -- LOVE sees, but it doesn't mind. - Ü
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
...
i found me a new bestfriend!maybe a real one at that....one can dream right? :)
but on a bad note..i lost myself someone i love...hai...maybe its Karma..or not..ewan..
is Karma real?hmm...
wow...nag christmas na yet i didnt feel it...to think that i was able to talk to him for the first time after a long period of silence...
actually when M** called..that's when i realized that it really was christmas...aside from talking to J that is..i really do miss talking to M...grabe...he kept his promise...and he did it earlier than was planned..*happy*
that's all...Fuck you Karma..:
but on a bad note..i lost myself someone i love...hai...maybe its Karma..or not..ewan..
is Karma real?hmm...
wow...nag christmas na yet i didnt feel it...to think that i was able to talk to him for the first time after a long period of silence...
actually when M** called..that's when i realized that it really was christmas...aside from talking to J that is..i really do miss talking to M...grabe...he kept his promise...and he did it earlier than was planned..*happy*
that's all...Fuck you Karma..:
Monday, December 17, 2007
shit...
i found this somewhere and it got me thinking...shit...am i a meantime girl??what the hell happened to me?...
MEANTIME GIRL
She’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your company’s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find “The One”. You know, she’s the one who you keep around in the meantime. She’s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a “real” woman, either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a “real” woman does. But she’s cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.It won’t bother her that you’ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She’s just so cool . . . why can’t all women be like that?! But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at a factory. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do. She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is. Anyway, yeah. I’m a Meantime Girl. Been one for him. For how long, I can’t remember. I don’t know the reason, really, and at this point I don’t even care. I just want to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot. And someday we won’t be around. --- so....am i just a meantime girl for you??... :(
MEANTIME GIRL
She’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your company’s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find “The One”. You know, she’s the one who you keep around in the meantime. She’s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a “real” woman, either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a “real” woman does. But she’s cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.It won’t bother her that you’ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She’s just so cool . . . why can’t all women be like that?! But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at a factory. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do. She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is. Anyway, yeah. I’m a Meantime Girl. Been one for him. For how long, I can’t remember. I don’t know the reason, really, and at this point I don’t even care. I just want to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot. And someday we won’t be around. --- so....am i just a meantime girl for you??... :(
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
weekend
WOW. okey.its official.they dont like him.ugh.watever.i like him.bahala sila.but..i guess..ewan nadadala nila ko sa opinion nila?hai...thats the reason why ayaw ko malaman nila kung ano nang yayari eh..hai...ANYWAY.ano ba nang yari?okey.first is dance practice. ang saya!!haha.tae...ang galing ah...talagang si **se** pa yung nangging partner ko.whatthehell??!is it a sign?!shet.hahaha.then.M** came!!daaymn!!yun nalang.DAYMN!!hahaha.tapos ok naman yung practice.i really missed those guys..hai..:) tapos.sumabay ako kina M**k papuntang LSGH.shet ang benta..kala ko marikina river yung river na yun.sinasabi ko pa na nakita ko yung kalabaw thingy tas yun pala pasig river pala yun.wala dun yung kalabaw.grr...hahhaha.then i realized that mukang cup noodles yung gym nila.hahaha.tapos.shet...hinatid ako ni M*** diretso kay J** so nang yari is si J** pa yung nag hatid sakin to K*** hai...and shet.ang dami nag dawn in sakin nung gabi na yun that is better na hindi sabihin.haha.tapos..takte!!K*** did something na sobrang na bwisit si J**!!tae...so hanggang ngayon im trying to comfort him..hai....but i m really glad that i get to see him.damn...i really missed him....(basta.alis kami next week!!yay!!)haha tapos....anyway.around 1 na ko nakauwi.but wait.ohyeah...na bwisit ako kay K*** kasi..basta...i know that he's just being a gentleman and a goodfriend...but ewan..na disapoint ako?wala lang...naisip ko lang na if si J** yung kasama ko that wouldnt have happened and talagang ma eenjoy ko yung night...sobra i was really tempted to call J** and to tell him na sama ako sa kanya...hai...anyway! sunday...practice ulit!! late na ko pumunta.okey naman.ang benta.ang labo namin sumayaw ni J*****.hahha.ang i have a new puppy!!!its a black labrador!!i love him!!!hahahah.yun lang.buhbye....mygosh....lapit na grad!!yeah!wait...kanina pala J** told me somethings that made me doubt my decision again...hai...so confuse....tapos halos hindi na kami nag uusap ng maayos ni K*** kasi busy...amf....i think i should just stick to someone like....what do you think?...basta.lapit na christmas!!yeah!!!
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
lapit na :)
daaymn!!!lapit na!!haha.im not sure why im so excited or something.basta gusto ko na mag weekend!!!hahahaha.things ill do sa weekend:
- soiree with ateneo
- LSGH christmas bazaar (yay!!lapit na!!!<3)
- Dance (for SADE) i really miss these guys!!!:'(
saturday yun. then for sunday naman dance practice ulit!yeah!!! lapit na christmas..am really feeling it.hahaha
Monday, December 03, 2007
ang mga pangyayari (tagalog eh)hahaha :)
okay.soo....first of. i just found out that J***y is a backstabbing-bitch. yeah thats right.ugh.and here i thought i met a new girl friend so watever :
wonder how i found out?well **r**e is the one who told me ALL about it.HA! well i'm not really certain about the side details.like why she said those things.but watever.the thing is she said those things about my friends.i wouldn't have cared that much if im the only one that she bashed.but noooo...dinamay pa niya mga kaibigan ko.so fuck you bitch.humanda ka.
(sorry nga pala for the language.im just so freaking pissed with everything and i don't know where to put all these heat!labo.anyway...)
sooo...another thing.m*n came to our fair!!yey!!!i really thought he was just kidding when he told me he would go to the fair.but ayun nga seryoso siya.YEY!!hahaha.i have no idea why i really like that guy.tae.suplado.watever.hahaha.also *e** was in our fair too!!<3>:)
then...ano pa...ah yeah!M is kinda nag rereklamo na bout J 's constant calling.shet...nakakahiya...my mom said americans are like that.but ano ba...cant she get a hint? she's not stupid naman ah..ata.basta.
and wala lang.bigala ako natuwa dito:
M:she asked me if we could hang-out before christmas.
G:so you agreed naman?
M:not really.i said ill try but busy eh.
G:ah...ok :)
M:but yun din yung sinabi ko sayo about dun sa fair niyo diba.so who knows..hahah (tae!!!!!)
G:ah.ok.
M:ewan.hahaha.basta yung percentage that ill not go out with her is 80% na hindi this december, and 70% na hindi any other month. dont know her eh.hahaha.lola's boy ako remember?sabi ni lola never talk to strangers.(yay!!!hahah lovit!!!hahah.and bumenta!:D)
G:ah...good.dapat makinig sa lola.hahahha(weh.hahaha).soo...if im the one who asked you to hang-out,ilan percent yung possibilities?hahaha
M:kung ikaw its 95% that ill agree.(yey!!kuya!!hahaha)but ikaw gagastos sa lahat.(tae.) hahahha
*wala lang.just loveit.sharing.labo.hahahha
then..omg...**m and i fought.amf!!!okay.so it was partly my fault.insensitive ako.but tangina!!kailangan ba niya insultuhin kami lagi?!?!shit!!i love him and care for him cause his my friend.but tae...may limit din ako...hai...i told him i think he's an ass.amf...i dont know if i should say sorry or something..but tangina...he's taking me for granted...im really trying to fix things up...but tae...why isnt he helping??!?!hai....so yun..i guess i should just wait for him to make the next move...tae...nawala na and everthing yung dignidad ko just so maayos yung friendship namin..yet parang wla pa rin sa kanya yun...hai...i really miss him...shit..but he has to learn a lesson...like how to treat a friend...amf...
another thing.LJ!!!hahaha!ayos na kami ulit!not like before na lagi kami nag uusap.but ayun okay na kami.hahaha.i miss you bestfriend butike!!!*huuuug!* hahaha
and yeah,today is our monthsary!wow...tagal na pala namin...galing hahah...i really love him...OMG...kala ko nung una ok ok lang...but tae.i fell.hahaha..anyways...i love you dear!!!hahaha.
wow haba ng entry na toh ah...astig...ginanahan din ako after a long time...ewan ko when ako next na gaganahan.bahala na..sige buhbye!!:D
wonder how i found out?well **r**e is the one who told me ALL about it.HA! well i'm not really certain about the side details.like why she said those things.but watever.the thing is she said those things about my friends.i wouldn't have cared that much if im the only one that she bashed.but noooo...dinamay pa niya mga kaibigan ko.so fuck you bitch.humanda ka.
(sorry nga pala for the language.im just so freaking pissed with everything and i don't know where to put all these heat!labo.anyway...)
sooo...another thing.m*n came to our fair!!yey!!!i really thought he was just kidding when he told me he would go to the fair.but ayun nga seryoso siya.YEY!!hahaha.i have no idea why i really like that guy.tae.suplado.watever.hahaha.also *e** was in our fair too!!<3>:)
then...ano pa...ah yeah!M is kinda nag rereklamo na bout J 's constant calling.shet...nakakahiya...my mom said americans are like that.but ano ba...cant she get a hint? she's not stupid naman ah..ata.basta.
and wala lang.bigala ako natuwa dito:
M:she asked me if we could hang-out before christmas.
G:so you agreed naman?
M:not really.i said ill try but busy eh.
G:ah...ok :)
M:but yun din yung sinabi ko sayo about dun sa fair niyo diba.so who knows..hahah (tae!!!!!)
G:ah.ok.
M:ewan.hahaha.basta yung percentage that ill not go out with her is 80% na hindi this december, and 70% na hindi any other month. dont know her eh.hahaha.lola's boy ako remember?sabi ni lola never talk to strangers.(yay!!!hahah lovit!!!hahah.and bumenta!:D)
G:ah...good.dapat makinig sa lola.hahahha(weh.hahaha).soo...if im the one who asked you to hang-out,ilan percent yung possibilities?hahaha
M:kung ikaw its 95% that ill agree.(yey!!kuya!!hahaha)but ikaw gagastos sa lahat.(tae.) hahahha
*wala lang.just loveit.sharing.labo.hahahha
then..omg...**m and i fought.amf!!!okay.so it was partly my fault.insensitive ako.but tangina!!kailangan ba niya insultuhin kami lagi?!?!shit!!i love him and care for him cause his my friend.but tae...may limit din ako...hai...i told him i think he's an ass.amf...i dont know if i should say sorry or something..but tangina...he's taking me for granted...im really trying to fix things up...but tae...why isnt he helping??!?!hai....so yun..i guess i should just wait for him to make the next move...tae...nawala na and everthing yung dignidad ko just so maayos yung friendship namin..yet parang wla pa rin sa kanya yun...hai...i really miss him...shit..but he has to learn a lesson...like how to treat a friend...amf...
another thing.LJ!!!hahaha!ayos na kami ulit!not like before na lagi kami nag uusap.but ayun okay na kami.hahaha.i miss you bestfriend butike!!!*huuuug!* hahaha
and yeah,today is our monthsary!wow...tagal na pala namin...galing hahah...i really love him...OMG...kala ko nung una ok ok lang...but tae.i fell.hahaha..anyways...i love you dear!!!hahaha.
wow haba ng entry na toh ah...astig...ginanahan din ako after a long time...ewan ko when ako next na gaganahan.bahala na..sige buhbye!!:D
Sunday, December 02, 2007
i need a ME time...
i need SOMETHING....i just dont know what it is...
the year is about to end...thankgod...
im happy..right?or am i just pretending to be one so as to put everything back in place?...
this is something that i found somewhere and i really like it(labo):
"love is the delightful interval between meeting a gorgeous guy and discovering that he looks like an ASS.."
:)
ohyeah...tommorrow is our monthsary..wow...tagal na din pala...i love him...i made the right choice...:D
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Friday, October 05, 2007
just something to occupy my time. (am BORed)
My 105 Truths
1. Real name – Gedelyn Cruz Neyra
2. Like it – hmm...in between (labo) :))
3. Single or taken – what do you think??haha.. :))
4. Zodiac sign – pisces
5. Male or female – female :D
6. Elementary – Assumption Antipolo
7. High school – Assumption Antipolo
8. College - UP!!!!hahaha...if not DLSU,ADMU,UST
9. Eye color – dark brown
10. Hair color – hmm...brown,black,reddish,white??haha
15. Are you a health freak? – i WISH!lol
16. Height – im not sure...normal? (i'm not sure)
17. Do you have a crush on someone? – yeah!!lots!joke.LOL
18. Do you like yourself? – yeah i like myself..i think :)?
19. Piercing – ears
20. Tattoos – i dont have one.but i draw on my hand :)
21. Right or left – left:)
FIRSTS
22. First surgery – wala pa ata...
23. First piercing – ears
24. First best friend – Ina :(+
.26. First sport – badminton
27. First pet – puppy!!! <3
28. First vacation – baguio ata?
30. First crush - i think si carlo ata...ewan!cant remember haha
CURRENTLY (As of October 5, 2007)
49. Eating – choco mucho :)
50. Drinking - water
51. About to – play Sims
52. Listening to – falling so high
53. Waiting for – a call :)
54. Wearing – pambahay
56. Want to get married – yeah!
67. Careers in mind – mom,interior designer,diplomat,CEO :D
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
68. Lips or eyes – his eyes and SMILE na din :D
69. Hugs or kisses – hugs!! i love hugs!!!
70. Shorter or taller – taller :))
71. Tan skinned or light skin – depande :)
72. Romantic or spontaneous – pwede both?haha
73. Dark or light hair – hm..dark :)
74. Muscular or normal – normal! parang kadiri pag muscular..except if its abs.abs mehn...abs=hot.hahaha
75. Hook-up or relationship – relationship!!haha
76. Similar to you or different –bahala na..ewan.haha
HAVE YOU EVER….
78. Kissed a stranger – define kiss.(is beso counted as a kiss?haha)
80. Broken a bone –no.and dont want to.:)
81. Climbed up a tree –i think...hahaha
82. Broken someone's heart – uhh...no comment :
83. Turned someone down – no comment again :
84. Liked a friend as more than a friend – yeah!and its a B*tch :
DO YOU BELIEVE IN….
86. Yourself – not really...
89. Santa Claus – yup!:D yak...parang bata pa eh..hahaha
90. Kiss on the first date – ewan.haha
91. Angels – yeah!my friends!weh /:) hahaha
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
92. Are there one or more people you want to be with right now? – OO.tae...:'(
93. Do you hang out with these people?- minsan nalang..:(
94. Are you cool? – have no idea and dont care :D
LASTS
95. Text message – jem
96. Received call – jem
97. Call made to – none
98. Comment on Friendster – krisha :)
99. Missed Call – kenn
100. Person you hung out with – bus mates :)
101. You hugged – SHAI!!!:D
103. You talked to – jem
104. You slapped – no one.but i wanna slap someone >:) hahaha
105. Said I love you to -si ____ :)
1. Real name – Gedelyn Cruz Neyra
2. Like it – hmm...in between (labo) :))
3. Single or taken – what do you think??haha.. :))
4. Zodiac sign – pisces
5. Male or female – female :D
6. Elementary – Assumption Antipolo
7. High school – Assumption Antipolo
8. College - UP!!!!hahaha...if not DLSU,ADMU,UST
9. Eye color – dark brown
10. Hair color – hmm...brown,black,reddish,white??haha
15. Are you a health freak? – i WISH!lol
16. Height – im not sure...normal? (i'm not sure)
17. Do you have a crush on someone? – yeah!!lots!joke.LOL
18. Do you like yourself? – yeah i like myself..i think :)?
19. Piercing – ears
20. Tattoos – i dont have one.but i draw on my hand :)
21. Right or left – left:)
FIRSTS
22. First surgery – wala pa ata...
23. First piercing – ears
24. First best friend – Ina :(+
.26. First sport – badminton
27. First pet – puppy!!! <3
28. First vacation – baguio ata?
30. First crush - i think si carlo ata...ewan!cant remember haha
CURRENTLY (As of October 5, 2007)
49. Eating – choco mucho :)
50. Drinking - water
51. About to – play Sims
52. Listening to – falling so high
53. Waiting for – a call :)
54. Wearing – pambahay
56. Want to get married – yeah!
67. Careers in mind – mom,interior designer,diplomat,CEO :D
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
68. Lips or eyes – his eyes and SMILE na din :D
69. Hugs or kisses – hugs!! i love hugs!!!
70. Shorter or taller – taller :))
71. Tan skinned or light skin – depande :)
72. Romantic or spontaneous – pwede both?haha
73. Dark or light hair – hm..dark :)
74. Muscular or normal – normal! parang kadiri pag muscular..except if its abs.abs mehn...abs=hot.hahaha
75. Hook-up or relationship – relationship!!haha
76. Similar to you or different –bahala na..ewan.haha
HAVE YOU EVER….
78. Kissed a stranger – define kiss.(is beso counted as a kiss?haha)
80. Broken a bone –no.and dont want to.:)
81. Climbed up a tree –i think...hahaha
82. Broken someone's heart – uhh...no comment :
83. Turned someone down – no comment again :
84. Liked a friend as more than a friend – yeah!and its a B*tch :
DO YOU BELIEVE IN….
86. Yourself – not really...
89. Santa Claus – yup!:D yak...parang bata pa eh..hahaha
90. Kiss on the first date – ewan.haha
91. Angels – yeah!my friends!weh /:) hahaha
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
92. Are there one or more people you want to be with right now? – OO.tae...:'(
93. Do you hang out with these people?- minsan nalang..:(
94. Are you cool? – have no idea and dont care :D
LASTS
95. Text message – jem
96. Received call – jem
97. Call made to – none
98. Comment on Friendster – krisha :)
99. Missed Call – kenn
100. Person you hung out with – bus mates :)
101. You hugged – SHAI!!!:D
103. You talked to – jem
104. You slapped – no one.but i wanna slap someone >:) hahaha
105. Said I love you to -si ____ :)
Thursday, October 04, 2007
damn!!
Damn!!my cellphone was confiscated!!how ugh is that?!grr...so guys am just using my Sun number now ok?:((
Saturday, September 29, 2007
something that hindi ko maalis sa utak ko...:)
:) i really love these...+
"there are tulips in the street,
there are tulips in the park,
but nothing compares to our two lips meeting in the dark..."
+
"ill love you forever,
ill like you as always,
as long as im living...my baby you'll be.."
"there are tulips in the street,
there are tulips in the park,
but nothing compares to our two lips meeting in the dark..."
+
"ill love you forever,
ill like you as always,
as long as im living...my baby you'll be.."
im a BITCH
hai...how bitchy can a girl get?ewan...
am turning into a bitch...mas malala pa is that i KNOW it...
ok....tagal ko na nga pala hindi nag bloblog...so ito yung mga nang yari...:
we watched a movie...i kissed him....and i dont regret it....im actually happy that i had that time with him...a time that i could have always if only i chose him instead of the other....but as it is...iba nga pinili ko...and...ewan...i dont know if im happy with my choice or hindi...this thing happened last saturday.... and nga pala..im his first kiss pala...ewan...should i feel honored because of that?or should i feel a shamed because i stole his first kiss knowing that we couldnt be together...?...haii...
kanina my bf and i went out...tas yun..i was really happy that we were able to spend time with eachother...saturday ngayon ah...one week after nung DAY na yun...then we watched the SAME movie that i watched with the other guy...dammit....my friend say that makakarma ko...and tae...i can feel it na..
i really love him....
:( :) :
am turning into a bitch...mas malala pa is that i KNOW it...
ok....tagal ko na nga pala hindi nag bloblog...so ito yung mga nang yari...:
we watched a movie...i kissed him....and i dont regret it....im actually happy that i had that time with him...a time that i could have always if only i chose him instead of the other....but as it is...iba nga pinili ko...and...ewan...i dont know if im happy with my choice or hindi...this thing happened last saturday.... and nga pala..im his first kiss pala...ewan...should i feel honored because of that?or should i feel a shamed because i stole his first kiss knowing that we couldnt be together...?...haii...
kanina my bf and i went out...tas yun..i was really happy that we were able to spend time with eachother...saturday ngayon ah...one week after nung DAY na yun...then we watched the SAME movie that i watched with the other guy...dammit....my friend say that makakarma ko...and tae...i can feel it na..
i really love him....
:( :) :
Monday, September 17, 2007
huh?
cousins or not cousins..that is the question...nyek..LOL! omg....pinsan?!?how fucked up can that be???hahaha
retreat na nila!!thank god hindi niya nakuha yung palanca..hahaha...
i really love you ___!! :)
wish i could see him and him.labo..hahaha
ugh..still grounded...dapat payagan ako sa party!!
and yay!!nagiging close na kami ni mamon!! LOL..:D
retreat na nila!!thank god hindi niya nakuha yung palanca..hahaha...
i really love you ___!! :)
wish i could see him and him.labo..hahaha
ugh..still grounded...dapat payagan ako sa party!!
and yay!!nagiging close na kami ni mamon!! LOL..:D
Saturday, September 08, 2007
i really dont like this...
ok so first of all...i am GROUNDED. shit . basta i did something tas yun i ended up being grounded..haaaii...:(
next is that..damn!!im really angry at him!hmm...actually...im disappointed.not really angry.haaii...basta he did something na kala ko hindi niya gagawin..aun...
labo ng entry ko noh?haha...still not ready to reveal things...but ewan baka pagbangag ako mag sasabi na ko ng names.labo.hahaha+
shit....im grounded!!waaaaahh!!!!!!!!!
next is that..damn!!im really angry at him!hmm...actually...im disappointed.not really angry.haaii...basta he did something na kala ko hindi niya gagawin..aun...
labo ng entry ko noh?haha...still not ready to reveal things...but ewan baka pagbangag ako mag sasabi na ko ng names.labo.hahaha+
shit....im grounded!!waaaaahh!!!!!!!!!
Friday, September 07, 2007
umm...no title..
he went into a party and got drunk...i have no idea about it until he told me...i dont know what to feel abot it...we had something like a pack.that we would tell eachother where and what we are going to do...its not really a big deal i guess..but...basta...:(
now he's grounded...and we were suppose to go out this saturday for our monthsary....i was really excited about it...but i guess i should forget about the date..anyway....
he called me and told me he was having some problems with his dad....i suppose i should be touched about it...i am actually...since i dont tell him about my problems and etc...i guess im still not that ready to trust others...but im glad that he trust me..:)
the other one...ooohhh...i really want to see him....hai...miss him so much...:)
nga pala...we had a culminating activity in our school yestrday..it was uber fun!:) i wore a barong tagalog :)
hai...bye na muna....still have to wake up around 5 am...ugh..
now he's grounded...and we were suppose to go out this saturday for our monthsary....i was really excited about it...but i guess i should forget about the date..anyway....
he called me and told me he was having some problems with his dad....i suppose i should be touched about it...i am actually...since i dont tell him about my problems and etc...i guess im still not that ready to trust others...but im glad that he trust me..:)
the other one...ooohhh...i really want to see him....hai...miss him so much...:)
nga pala...we had a culminating activity in our school yestrday..it was uber fun!:) i wore a barong tagalog :)
hai...bye na muna....still have to wake up around 5 am...ugh..
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
separation...
haai...whats the point of forcing yourself when the other person doesnt want you right?...im going to let go of him na....hindi ko na kaya...masyado na ko nasasaktan na nakikita ko siya na nahihirapan...alam ko na parang forced lang siya thats why kinakausap pa niya ko...so im letting go...fuck!!i hate this!!i hate what is happening and I HATE MYSELF!!!!when did i start becoming like a bitch!!shit!!!!and when did i start hating myself?!?!thats the lowest..argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i also hate him!!why didnt he fight for me?!?!he said he LOVE me...what the fuck!!!!is that how a person shows his love?!?!?!dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!why am i thinking like this?!?!i know that its myfault that everything became so fucked up..but argh!!!!!ohmygod...suko na ko...ayoko na...shit...i miss him so much....i dont want to lose him....godhelpme....argh!!!!!i love my bf...i really love him...but..i dont know...is it possible to love two person at the same time?...or am i just being delusional with one of them....am i in love or just infatuated?...someone asked me if i just said yes because i dont want to get hurt again...maybe he's right...but that doesn't change anything...i still have a boyfriend...yet i want the other one...fuck!...im so stupid!!!...shit...ohmygod...why did i let him go?...i dont want to lose him....amf...why didn't you fight for me?!?!!!!!!!!!why...?...i want you...damn you...
i am in love......
i really love you...
fuck.
i am in love......
i really love you...
fuck.
Monday, August 27, 2007
it's...over...
damn...it's over now..i know i should be happy that nag move-on na siya..but dammit...feeling ko i lost something really special...actually..i KNOW that i lost someone very special...it's my fault i admit...kung hindi dahil sa katangahan ko everything will be great...haaiizz...i am happy now i guess...but i feel that i would have been happier if...fuck...i dont like making choices...amf...i hate the person i am now..i feel like i've turn into a bitch..godhelpme...my mom(tita) will be arriving this saturday...im so excited to see her..but sadly my brother(cousin) will be leaving tomorrow...and i have no idea when will i see him again...will it be 2 years from now or 20 years from now...i have no idea..haai...why am i starting to hate myself?!?shit!is this because of the socalled love or no??!!why is it that i am trully happy only when i talk to the two of them...and as it is soon i would be only able to talk with just one...he didn't allow me to go out with him..i understand his reason why..but..i still feel bad about his decision...
why is it lots of people leave me?i guess it is just the way it is...i should learn to stand alone..but its just so damn hard..i should be an expert with this kind of thing by now with my parents leaving me and etc...i guess i never learn..i should talk to my friends about this...but i feel that..i dont know..laugh at me?ewan...i guess i never really did gave them ung buong trust ko..i gave it to one...but saddly..i am about to lose him..amf..
on a happier note he just texted me now..atleast he still haven't forgotten me.. :)
why is it lots of people leave me?i guess it is just the way it is...i should learn to stand alone..but its just so damn hard..i should be an expert with this kind of thing by now with my parents leaving me and etc...i guess i never learn..i should talk to my friends about this...but i feel that..i dont know..laugh at me?ewan...i guess i never really did gave them ung buong trust ko..i gave it to one...but saddly..i am about to lose him..amf..
on a happier note he just texted me now..atleast he still haven't forgotten me.. :)
Saturday, August 25, 2007
....
okey...i dont know wheather to feel happy about this day or not...i met him again...and dammit..i really missed him...but as always it turns out he HATES me...i dont know what i was expecting to happen this saturday..but i..i dont know..was really disapointed yet happy?labo...happy to see him..yet sad because he was just "nakonsensya" thats why he showed up to me in the first place...he told me to be strong...to fight for what i want...fight for myself...if i cant do it for myself then i should do it for him...but i think that that is one of the things that ill find if not impossible then very hard to do...anyway...i met a friend in galle and talk to him about my problems...and yung advices na hindi nya nabigay sakin pinalitan nalang nya ng time nya sakin...i was really happy to see him dun.ewan ko...basta everytime i see him natutuwa ako kahit wala lang..:P...haayy...fuck it...nabasa niya yung blog ko..ewan ko na..actually why am i writing all these here?eh duh nalaman na niya ung blog ko so may chance na mabasa rin nya tong post na toh..but wat the hell...bahala na..ano nga ba pinagsasabi ko dito??haha...kenn...hmm...basta...haha..
Friday, August 24, 2007
so excited!! :D
yay!!so excited for tomorrow!!ill get to meet si amf and si amp!labo..haha...tas fellowship namin tom din so naka costume kami ng genre of our choice!tae...wala pa ko napipili...anyway...aun we had our CAT earlier and OMG.boring! then nag stay muna ako kina mary rose tas aun todo bonding.and i <3 scary stories!!hahaha...but grabe siguro mga 9 na ko nakauwi...thank god nalang hindi nahuli.haha..bsta super fun ng day na toh.but kinda boring kasi walang ginawa. :D... haaiizz...kabado na excited ako for tom...feeling ko may something na mangyayari....but...okey lang yan...bahala na si God..haha :)
Thursday, August 23, 2007
dammit... :(
ok...its been like 2/3 weeks since my last day in LSC..but dammit...i miss them so much!!argh..i wanna go back there..and i dont know...basta, i really miss them..especially...argh!!!i didnt really expect much from this review class.i thought that ill just go there,listen to the lectures then buhbye go home na.but as it turns out i was dead wrong. i met new friends...a sister/kambal (if your reading this..which i know is impossible..i really miss you...haaaii...:( )... i wish that that last two saturdays that i spent in LSC will..amf..
to you who is reading this entry im sorry if its a bunch of crap. :|
walang kwentang post... :|
okay...wala lang toh..i just want to try to put a headshot through this..
pahabol... :P
OMG!!ang galing..ngayon ko lang napansin na yung last blog entry which was before this was also in august!!LOL...wala lang... :P
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