...

i dont want him to leave me....please..dont...:(

mood:depressed

older

<-- Past

Present-->

ohmyfreakinggosh.tapos na legacy.meaning we seniors had finally left our legacy to our school.shit college..im so not ready..then in a few week it will be my 18th.ugh..not excited for that day.not because i dont want to be an adult( hey im a teen, im excited to go to wherever i want) but its because usually, when a girl turns 18 she would usually have a debut or a party(basta something different from her other birthdays).sadly for me nada party.ugh.for a very long time it has been kind of a ritual that whenever its my birthday i will have a big blowout or a party for my friends.but for this year i wont be celebrating.wow.different nga sa iba kong birthday.ill just study for the exams i guess..another shitty reason why i dont want to have my birthday is because i have a huge feeling that i wont be seeing him.ugh.hai...anyway..bahala na..i just wish hindi na mag bday ko.or better yet matapos na agad yung bday ko :

anyway..shit.i love this picture!!i call that manika.weh.haha.wala lang. :P

another thing na napansin ko is why is that pag tumatanda ako mas nagiging mukang bata ako?labooo...hahaha :))

homosexuals..:(

i got this from my friend. It's about homosexuals and their stand in the society.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.

I wish they could adopt me.I am not one of the lucky ones.

I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

I am the man who fears that I will never be able to be myself, to be free of this secret because I won’t risk loosing my family and friends.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”

—IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG … REPOST THIS ON YOUR BLOG

our "story"

cow heres our story na :)

How a cow and a pig came to be

the past

it started on a review class wherein the enchanting pig attended to concentrate on her studies. so there the beautiful pig sat next to a smoking hot american dog.(wow its really hot in there!)haha. then suddenly a huge "kalbo" cow came barging in throught the doors!with him came all hells.its daaymn for the pig. then as usual he falls for the beauty of the pig and did everything he can so as to attract the pig. he even bought something from the 11/seven store just so he can say hi to her.(aww....admit it j.its true.haha) so there they were eating and taking classes together.added to that is that the cow actually took the seat of the smoking hot american bulldog just to be closer to the cutie pig!(aww...so sweet right?haha)

so blah blah blah.then whenever they go out the cow always drop something from his bag.shet.haha. so some of the things they did was eat in a pizza place with their classmates but humiwalay yung dalawa to a shorter and smaller table.weird.haha.then one of the things that gorgious pig (g.pig) remembers was when they took their mock exam and the kalbo cow(k.cow) make siksik to this small table then held her hand.(aww...:) ) another was when he gave her a pink beaded flower necklace which she loves with a band playing as a background music(cheese is love)haha. panira lang was when he needed to na kasi nandun na yung mom niya.hai...what a way of ruining the moment.:(

anyhoo...aun so that was the last day for the pig. but still they went out to watch a movie. there he introduce her to this hottie chicken and she fell for that chicken.for awhile. then cow became selos (so cute when he's like that.haha). there was that time that she had an opportunity to sit beside the hottie.sadly the cow blocked her way and she got stuck beside him.(kapal pa,sumandal pa siya talaga!tsk,) haha.

who would have thought that being a gago can be such a turn on?JOKE.can be so attractive i mean.haha

so there they were always talking to eachother but still.around this time they are still JUST FRIENDS.understood?

suddenly as they say: lalabas din ang iyong nakaraan. so there. a chinito bull from her pass came back and made her tripped into love with him. so for months they went out happily? and for month the cow and the pig fought with eachother.yet the pig still cant think of not having the cow around.she almost beg him.dammit.she NEVER begs.tae!!so there.there relationship that time is bestfriend-enemy relationship. the pig thought that she's happy with the bull. or was she really just making herself think that she's happy para walang pagsisisi?ewaan.

she really misses the old cow..really regreted her descision..hai...

there was also this one time that the cow actually escorted her to the bull during this one event.shet.soooo awkward.haha.

the pig being so confused with everything still went out with the cow...knowing its not right.yet cant help it.it seems that she's more excited whever she talks to the cow that with the bull. her friends says that she made a wrong descision..but what can she do? the choice was made..:(

there was also this owl telling her that the bull is an ass and she and the cow would be a much better pair :))

just before christmas the pig and bull seperated. there was still strain in her relationship with the cow. but still the two are still friends..

NOW

the two are finally together.as a couple. who would have thought that the two will be together after everything that happened? it took NINE FREAKING MONTHS for them..yet the cow stayed..never leaving the pig..

introductions to their own friends were made.and kisses and hugs were exchanged. yet there are still some legalities that needs to be overcome..how can a relationship last without the blessing of the mentors? but that is yet to come..these two creatures are patient beings(kinda) so never lose hope and they will survive every challenges that come to them.i hope.

and now as the pig is typing this she just realized that..OMG...ang tiyaga ni j...shit...

i wont be saying the end for this story since this is just the beginning...:)

some things that the g.pig remembers:

introduction to the friends, hanging out in starbucks, powerbooks,greenmountains

walking around shang and galle

MOVIE TIMES <3 haha

cow almost always falling of a balcony

falling ballpens

his first letter with a toy

him admitting his feelings

punching the ***** of the pig.ouch!dammit!haha

telebabad times..:)

looking up the stars in the mall <3

and so on.. :)

K. cow..if your reading this i want to let you know that i like you better with longger hair.haha.and i soo love you.mwaaah. and pangit ka pa rin.joke.hahaha.huuuug.:)

oh yeah..forgot to mention.the COW linoko yung Pig. not the otherway around.okay??haha

what happened in the past few days.

sooo...what happened was there is a psycho killer roaming around rizal raping women and cutting off their boobs !! eww...haha

then..J and i are officially....beep. haha.im so happy!:D <3

made a cake for j's bday.sadly nakalimutan ibigay so..aun binigay the cake the next day which is valentines.eww..parang ewan.haha

hai...i really want it to be legal na...i want our relationship to last...and i dont think it will if wala naman blessing yung parents...:'(

its valentines day!and omg. k sent me a message saying
K: "i love you"
me: "uhhh.."
K: "spread the love girl!its loves day!" (shit) :
so ako naman..
me: "ok.love you too!:))"
SHIT SABAW..HAHAHA

today:Saturday

i went out with my friends.but asar they're LATe.like im grounded pa so maaga ako kailangan umuwi.ugh

special thing that happened today is: J!yuck.tuwang tuwa eh.hahaha

he finally introduced me to his friends as his gf!and he to mine as my bf! daaaymn!!so HAPPY!!waaahh!!:D hahahha
im really glad that i got to know his friends. feel ko na tuloy na talagang kami na.hahaha
(i so love you J!!<3)>
then he gave me a stuffed piggies!!!cuties!!hahaa.mwaah!!
and we also watched a movie.the eye.uhh....kinda watched it i mean.hahaha ;)
i really love this day except for the fact that ang wrong timing ng pagka grounded ko.kung kelan J can spend until gabi thats when i need to go home early..hai..anyway. waahh!!he was so so so sweet earlier!!kahit sa harap ng friends niya hindi siya nahihiya na manging affectionate!mwaaah! and omg.i kissed him infront of my friends.daaymn.:D hahaha

thats all.

oh yeah.there's this babble queen going around multiply spreading gossip about our batch. all i have to say about it is: FUKC you!!!GAWIN MO NALang yan after ng graduation.baka lahat tayo hindi maka graduate!grr...

ok.bye. hahaha

happy :)

i so love and miss this...thing. hahaha mwaaahh!!huuug!!*bite* hahaha

for all the girls

Here's to all those girls who used to be his number one.
The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cellphone the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend", one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you, and the next when he doesn't want to be anything at all. Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.

We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.
Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.

Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again.

This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if". This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.

This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, I'm just not ready." or maybe, "You're just not the one for me." (Then maybe later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so." The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.
We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us when ever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that. Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them. Here's for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart ... again.
This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him,and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.
Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass,sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again. Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When your song comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door.
Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to.One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.
It's gonna hurt like hell, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.

new year

hai....whats wrong with me lately?lately parang lagi nalang ako depressed..basta ang labo ng mood ko..hai..why is it na this year i dont feel anything regarding the break...am i getting too old for this kind of celebrations?ewan.
i would just be glad to get this year over with :

current mood: Confuse...and feeling down :(

soo....whose right?

ANG MGA BABAE TALAGA OO by redrope

*grabe. usapang lalake* *sindi ng yosi*
*hithit* *buga* Musta na, pare? Ako, okay lang. Eto. Nagmumuni-muni. Nag-iisip. Minsan talaga may mga bagay na hindi ko maintindihan. Ewan ko ba. *hinga ng malalim* Bakit ba ganun pare, ilang beses ko na pinag-aralan pero lagi na lang lumalabas na parang kahit 'sang anggulo mo tingnan, hindi nagiging patas para sa mga lalake ang ilang bagay pagdating sa pagmamahal. *tingin sa stars* Minsan naiisip ko,

alam kaya ng mga babae ang hirap ng lalake na gumawa ng first move para magtapat ng pagmamahal?

E yung hirap na dinadaanan sa panliligaw at pagsuyo sa mahal nya?

Ang feeling ng masaktan pag nabasted?

Malamang-lamang siguro, hindi ano. Wala naman yata silang alam sa mga paghihirap naten e. Ang alam lang ata nila e mamili, manakit, at magsaya. Tingin mo? *tingin sa malayo* Lagi naman ganun. Una pa lang,

lalake na ang naghihirap.

Hassle saten ang panliligaw pero bago pa yun, kung ano pang diskarte ang gagawin naten para masabi naten sa kanila na mahal natin sila. Alam kaya nila yun?

Mahirap magsabi na mahal mo na yung babae, diba?

Tapos liligawan pa naten. Patutunayan na mahal nga sila. Susuyuin to-the-max.Maghahatid sa bahay, tutulungan, sasabayan, palalamunin, pagtyatyagaan, lahat na. Kulang na lang e pagsilbihan mo nang walang sahod.

At ano ang kapalit?

Well, depende sa trip nila.

Oo tol, sa trip lang nila. Wala silang pake kesehodang mahal natin talaga sila. Basta ang alam nila, pag di nila tayo trip, isang malaking HINDE ang makukuha naten, kahit umiyak pa tayo ng dugo o lumuhod sa mga asing buu-buo. Para lang silang namimili ng damit na di man lang sinusukat bago ayawan.

Kaya kahit mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal natin, sorry tayo.

Hindi nila alam kung mahal mo sila. Kailangan mong maabot ang kanilang mga standards o uuwi ka lang na bad trip, iiling-iling, at minsan, luhaan. Wala tayong magagawa, marami silang alibi.
"Hindi pa 'ko ready eh..",
"Sorry pero I think we should just be friends..",
"Ha? Uhhmm..nagpapatawa ka ba? Hahahaha.."

"Better luck next time na lang muna, okay lang?",

"Give me a decade. Pag-iisipan ko muna..",

"Para lang kitang kapatid e..",

yaddah yaddah. Isang malaking pagsasaklob ng langit at lupa 'yon para saten. *kuha ng bote ng beer*

*lagok* *lunok* At hindi lang 'yon tol. Sa pre-relationship stage pa lang yon. Pag sinagot na nila tayo, satin pa rin ang hassle.


Tayo daw ang mga lalake kaya tayo ang hahawak ng relasyon. Tayo ang aayos kung may gulo; tayo ang dapat magpapakabait; tayo ang magtatyaga; tayo ang magiging devoted at faithful; tayo, tayo tayo.
Sila? Ummm? Teka, isipin ko. Ayun.

Sila ang magsasabi kung anong oras kayo dapat magmeet; sila ang magtetext ng mga mushy at kabalbalang texts; sila ang magdedemand sayo ng kung anu-ano; sila ang magbabawal; sila ang magsasabi kung kelan ka dapat mag-shave, kung kelan ka pwedeng tumawag sa bahay nila, kung kelan sila di dapat bad tripin dahil meron sila, at kung kelan ka korni.

Ewan. Ganun ata talaga. *kuha ng bote ng beer* *lagok* *lunok* Hindi pa yun tapos pare, dahil dapat tayo angbahala kung ano ang magiging takbo ng relasyon. Pag maganda, edi okay. Pag may problema, kasalanan naten. Haay buhay. Minsan talaga kung tutuusin sakit sila ng ulo. Kaya lang mahal naten kaya di na natin iniintindi yun. *hinga ng malalim* Pero alam mo tol,


feeling ko mas sincere pa tayo magmahal sa kanila. Alam mo yun, iba tayo magmahal e. Hindi lang parang laru-laro lang. Seryoso. At kung magmahal man tayo, lubus-lubusan. Mas mature. Hindi yung parang pambata lang gaya nila na kesyo magseselos-selos, iiyak-iyak, iina-inarte, dadradrama, at kung anu-ano pa. Hindi lang kababawan. Ka-mushyhan. Kababaihan. Iba tayo pag nagmahal.
*hinga ng malalim* *tingin sa malayo ulit* At ito pa ang pinakamasaklap. *singhot* Ang ending ng relasyon. Sa mga panahong 'to, either

sawa na sila,
hindi na tayo trip,
may nahanap na silang better saten,
o kaya they need f*cking space and time muna.

Bad trip no? Wala na naman tayong choice. Sila ang masusunod. At ano pa ang kasamang hassle don?Syempre wasak na ang imahe naten. Tayo ang lalabas na may kasalanan.Na playboy.
Na nagpapaiyak. *iiling* Tayo siyempre ang mga

antagonist at sila yung mga bidang inaapi at parang mga pusang iiyak-iyak.

Ang ending: mag-ooffer sila ng "friendship" kuno matapos tayong pagsawaan, lahat ng gifts naten nasa kanila, sawi tayo sa pag-ibig, "player" na ang image naten, at higit sa lahat, mag-iisip kung papaano ipagpapatuloy ang buhay. Maiiwan tayong tulala, mag-iisip kung saan nagkamali, mamomroblema sa pag-aadjust sa pagiging single, at di na naman makakatulog. Haay buhay. Ang hirap maging lalake. Lagi ka na lang naiiwan sa ere. Ano? Hindi ka na nagsalita? In-love ka no? Ako, kamusta? Eto.Yoyosi-yosi. Bubuntong-buntong hininga. Titingin-tingin sa bituin. Mumuni-muni. Lalagok-lagok ng alak.
Ang mga babae talaga, oo.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ANG MGA LALAKE TALAGA, OO(tugon kay redrope)by xristel

Ano ba itong si redrope? Kaming mga babae na naman ang nakita. Lalake, agrabyado. Lalake, kinakawawa. Lalake, hindi maintindihan. Hmmp, parang masyado yatang nagisa ang mga kabaro ko. Tungkol sa pagiging patas sa ngalan ng pag-ibig, kami naman ang laging talo a, hindi kayo. Kami ang laging lugi, kami ang lagging nawawalan at iniiwan. Kapag ngumiti ka na ng konti, nag-ayos ng konti pagkakamalan ka nang malandi. Hindi pangseryosohang relasyon. Marinig lang nila na malakas kang mag! sa! lita, palengkera ka na. T.O. kagad sa kanila iyon. Mahilig silang tumingin sa mga babaeng sexy manamit, kulang nalang makita na kaluluwa. Pero kapag babaeng seryosohin at gustong ligawan dapat disente, dapat mala-anghel ang mukha, dapat mukhang inosente. Tapos kami pa raw ang mahilig mamili?


Parang baliktad yata? Ok, ayan nanliligaw na si lalake. Dapat pakipot ka para suyuin ka,para habulin ka pa lalo.

Kapag hindi ka naman nagpakipot "easy to get" naman ang tingin sa iyo.

Hindi ka na seseryosohin. Sino bang may sabing magpaalila kayo, di naman namin hawak ang buhay niyo. Natural lang na magtiis kayo, may gusto kayo sa amin eh. Kapag nakuha niyo na iyon wala na lahat ng mga paghihirap niyo, babaliktad na ang sitwasyon kami naman ang mamromroblema. Para lang kayong may gustong bilhin na bagay. Upang mabili ito kailangan munang magsakripisyo, magtipid, magtiis. Pag nabili na at mapagsawaan wala na, balewala na. Diyan ka na sa tabi-tabi. !

"Tawagan nalang kita pag trip ko o kaya'y pag may gusto akong ipagawa sa iyo."
Ano pa ba? E di sinagot mo na diba. Utang na loob pa natin yun. Dahil naghirap daw sila sa panliligaw dapat masuklian natin iyon ng higit pa. Sa umpisa kailangan malambing ka, maayos at laging magsisilbi sa kanya. Ayaw daw nilang humawak ng relasyon, pero kapag ikaw naman ang nagmando, aba, masasakal naman. Sasabihin pa sa iyo

"demanding" ka.
Meron ka pang maririnig na

"I think we need space"

at kung anu-ano pang ek-ek. Sino rin may sabing di dapat kami magpakabait, maging devoted at faithful? Kapag kami ang sumaway niyang mga iyan, iba na ang tingin sa amin.

Malandi na kami, haliparot, pakawala, makikay at kung anu-ano pang mga bansag ang itatawag sa amin

Kapag kayo gumawa noon, ok lang. Lalake kayo eh, macho kayo pag ginawa niyo yon. Kaya kami, walang magawa. Magpapakaburo atmagpapakamadre nalang. Kapag nagloko na kayo ano pa bang magagawa namin? Eh di iiyak nalang. Wala namang ibang magagawa eh. Tungkol naman sa tinatawag niyong pagdedemand namin. Hindi kami nagdedemand! Karapatan lang namin iyon. Karapatan namin na lambingin niyo kami, icheck at ipakita ! sa amin na mahal niyo kami. Hindi rin ibig sabihin na mas sincere kayo sa amin. Seryoso rin naman kami ah. At ang maturity wala yan sa edad. Mas maaga nga kaming magmature sa inyo. Ang isang 19 year old na lalake eh, isip 15 pa yun. It follows iyan sa lahat ng age group. Mas mataas pa nga kung minsan ang pagbawas ng level of maturity. Kayo na ang mag-math. Pati yung pag-iyak namin pinupuntirya niyo. Kesyo drama daw. Diba kapag umiyak ka nagbuhos ka ng emosyon diyan. Ano tingin niyo sa amin mga artista?! Alam niyo iyon?

Yun bang kulang nalang ay lumuha ka na ng dugo, pero hindi ka pa rin papansinin. Sasabihan ka pang tigilan na ang pagdradrama.


Hindi nila kami maiintindihan kapag nagseselos kami.Bakit naman kami magseselos kung wala kaming nakikita? Mas iba kaming magmahal. Mas masarap. Kapag natapos na ang lambingan, eh di siyempre iwanan blues na.Kami pa raw ang nagsawa, kami pa raw ang nagtritrip lang. Sino ba ang lumalayas kapag may nakita nang bago, sino ba ang mayabang, sino ba ang nagmamalaki? Kami ba? Kami ang walang choice. Kasi ang babae pag sinabing "break na tayo" lambingin lang iyan ng konti balikan blues na iyan.

Kapag ang lalake ang umayaw, pucha, bahala ka diyan. Kahit mag-tambling ka pa sa harap niya. Wa-epek. Umiyak ka ng bato.Wa-epek. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tapos sila pa raw ang kawawa.
Post-break up, mahal pa ng babae si lalaki. Sasamantalahin ni lalaki. Magpapagawa ng kung anu-ano.

Naaalala ka lang kapag may kailangan sa iyo.

Kapag pumangit ka after the break up, magpapasalamat sila na iniwan ka nila. Kapag gumanda ka naman, ipagkakalat nila sa buong sangkatauhan na naging girlfriend ka niya. Sala sa init sala sa lamig talaga. Ano ba namang buhay to? Ang hirap ding maging babae ano. Kala nila laging sila nalang. Lagi rin kaming naiiwan sa ere. In-love din kami. Ang mga lalake talaga, oo. LOVE knows no reasons, love knows no lies, love defies all reasons, love has no eyes. But love is not blind -- LOVE sees, but it doesn't mind. - Ü

...

i found me a new bestfriend!maybe a real one at that....one can dream right? :)

but on a bad note..i lost myself someone i love...hai...maybe its Karma..or not..ewan..

is Karma real?hmm...

wow...nag christmas na yet i didnt feel it...to think that i was able to talk to him for the first time after a long period of silence...

actually when M** called..that's when i realized that it really was christmas...aside from talking to J that is..i really do miss talking to M...grabe...he kept his promise...and he did it earlier than was planned..*happy*

that's all...Fuck you Karma..:

shit...

i found this somewhere and it got me thinking...shit...am i a meantime girl??what the hell happened to me?...


MEANTIME GIRL
She’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your company’s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find “The One”. You know, she’s the one who you keep around in the meantime. She’s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a “real” woman, either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a “real” woman does. But she’s cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.It won’t bother her that you’ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She’s just so cool . . . why can’t all women be like that?! But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at a factory. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do. She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is. Anyway, yeah. I’m a Meantime Girl. Been one for him. For how long, I can’t remember. I don’t know the reason, really, and at this point I don’t even care. I just want to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot. And someday we won’t be around. --- so....am i just a meantime girl for you??... :(

doubt..

starting to doubt and wonder...AGAIN.

weekend

WOW. okey.its official.they dont like him.ugh.watever.i like him.bahala sila.but..i guess..ewan nadadala nila ko sa opinion nila?hai...thats the reason why ayaw ko malaman nila kung ano nang yayari eh..hai...ANYWAY.ano ba nang yari?okey.first is dance practice. ang saya!!haha.tae...ang galing ah...talagang si **se** pa yung nangging partner ko.whatthehell??!is it a sign?!shet.hahaha.then.M** came!!daaymn!!yun nalang.DAYMN!!hahaha.tapos ok naman yung practice.i really missed those guys..hai..:) tapos.sumabay ako kina M**k papuntang LSGH.shet ang benta..kala ko marikina river yung river na yun.sinasabi ko pa na nakita ko yung kalabaw thingy tas yun pala pasig river pala yun.wala dun yung kalabaw.grr...hahhaha.then i realized that mukang cup noodles yung gym nila.hahaha.tapos.shet...hinatid ako ni M*** diretso kay J** so nang yari is si J** pa yung nag hatid sakin to K*** hai...and shet.ang dami nag dawn in sakin nung gabi na yun that is better na hindi sabihin.haha.tapos..takte!!K*** did something na sobrang na bwisit si J**!!tae...so hanggang ngayon im trying to comfort him..hai....but i m really glad that i get to see him.damn...i really missed him....(basta.alis kami next week!!yay!!)haha tapos....anyway.around 1 na ko nakauwi.but wait.ohyeah...na bwisit ako kay K*** kasi..basta...i know that he's just being a gentleman and a goodfriend...but ewan..na disapoint ako?wala lang...naisip ko lang na if si J** yung kasama ko that wouldnt have happened and talagang ma eenjoy ko yung night...sobra i was really tempted to call J** and to tell him na sama ako sa kanya...hai...anyway! sunday...practice ulit!! late na ko pumunta.okey naman.ang benta.ang labo namin sumayaw ni J*****.hahha.ang i have a new puppy!!!its a black labrador!!i love him!!!hahahah.yun lang.buhbye....mygosh....lapit na grad!!yeah!wait...kanina pala J** told me somethings that made me doubt my decision again...hai...so confuse....tapos halos hindi na kami nag uusap ng maayos ni K*** kasi busy...amf....i think i should just stick to someone like....what do you think?...basta.lapit na christmas!!yeah!!!

lapit na :)

daaymn!!!lapit na!!haha.im not sure why im so excited or something.basta gusto ko na mag weekend!!!hahahaha.things ill do sa weekend:

• soiree with ateneo
• LSGH christmas bazaar (yay!!lapit na!!!<3)
• Dance (for SADE) i really miss these guys!!!:'(

saturday yun. then for sunday naman dance practice ulit!yeah!!! lapit na christmas..am really feeling it.hahaha

ang mga pangyayari (tagalog eh)hahaha :)

okay.soo....first of. i just found out that J***y is a backstabbing-bitch. yeah thats right.ugh.and here i thought i met a new girl friend so watever :
wonder how i found out?well **r**e is the one who told me ALL about it.HA! well i'm not really certain about the side details.like why she said those things.but watever.the thing is she said those things about my friends.i wouldn't have cared that much if im the only one that she bashed.but noooo...dinamay pa niya mga kaibigan ko.so fuck you bitch.humanda ka.

(sorry nga pala for the language.im just so freaking pissed with everything and i don't know where to put all these heat!labo.anyway...)

sooo...another thing.m*n came to our fair!!yey!!!i really thought he was just kidding when he told me he would go to the fair.but ayun nga seryoso siya.YEY!!hahaha.i have no idea why i really like that guy.tae.suplado.watever.hahaha.also *e** was in our fair too!!<3>:)

then...ano pa...ah yeah!M is kinda nag rereklamo na bout J 's constant calling.shet...nakakahiya...my mom said americans are like that.but ano ba...cant she get a hint? she's not stupid naman ah..ata.basta.

and wala lang.bigala ako natuwa dito:
M:she asked me if we could hang-out before christmas.
G:so you agreed naman?
M:not really.i said ill try but busy eh.
G:ah...ok :)
M:but yun din yung sinabi ko sayo about dun sa fair niyo diba.so who knows..hahah (tae!!!!!)
G:ah.ok.
M:ewan.hahaha.basta yung percentage that ill not go out with her is 80% na hindi this december, and 70% na hindi any other month. dont know her eh.hahaha.lola's boy ako remember?sabi ni lola never talk to strangers.(yay!!!hahah lovit!!!hahah.and bumenta!:D)
G:ah...good.dapat makinig sa lola.hahahha(weh.hahaha).soo...if im the one who asked you to hang-out,ilan percent yung possibilities?hahaha
M:kung ikaw its 95% that ill agree.(yey!!kuya!!hahaha)but ikaw gagastos sa lahat.(tae.) hahahha
*wala lang.just loveit.sharing.labo.hahahha

then..omg...**m and i fought.amf!!!okay.so it was partly my fault.insensitive ako.but tangina!!kailangan ba niya insultuhin kami lagi?!?!shit!!i love him and care for him cause his my friend.but tae...may limit din ako...hai...i told him i think he's an ass.amf...i dont know if i should say sorry or something..but tangina...he's taking me for granted...im really trying to fix things up...but tae...why isnt he helping??!?!hai....so yun..i guess i should just wait for him to make the next move...tae...nawala na and everthing yung dignidad ko just so maayos yung friendship namin..yet parang wla pa rin sa kanya yun...hai...i really miss him...shit..but he has to learn a lesson...like how to treat a friend...amf...

another thing.LJ!!!hahaha!ayos na kami ulit!not like before na lagi kami nag uusap.but ayun okay na kami.hahaha.i miss you bestfriend butike!!!*huuuug!* hahaha

and yeah,today is our monthsary!wow...tagal na pala namin...galing hahah...i really love him...OMG...kala ko nung una ok ok lang...but tae.i fell.hahaha..anyways...i love you dear!!!hahaha.

wow haba ng entry na toh ah...astig...ginanahan din ako after a long time...ewan ko when ako next na gaganahan.bahala na..sige buhbye!!:D

i need a ME time...

i need SOMETHING....i just dont know what it is...

the year is about to end...thankgod...

im happy..right?or am i just pretending to be one so as to put everything back in place?...

this is something that i found somewhere and i really like it(labo):

"love is the delightful interval between meeting a gorgeous guy and discovering that he looks like an ASS.."

:)

ohyeah...tommorrow is our monthsary..wow...tagal na din pala...i love him...i made the right choice...:D

:(..

HE KEPT HIS PROMISE....hai...its the right thing to do...THANKS SO MUCH.. :)
huuuuuugggg!!! :D

just something to occupy my time. (am BORed)

My 105 Truths
1. Real name – Gedelyn Cruz Neyra
2. Like it – hmm...in between (labo) :))
3. Single or taken – what do you think??haha.. :))
4. Zodiac sign – pisces
5. Male or female – female :D
6. Elementary – Assumption Antipolo
7. High school – Assumption Antipolo
8. College - UP!!!!hahaha...if not DLSU,ADMU,UST
9. Eye color – dark brown
10. Hair color – hmm...brown,black,reddish,white??haha
15. Are you a health freak? – i WISH!lol
16. Height – im not sure...normal? (i'm not sure)
17. Do you have a crush on someone? – yeah!!lots!joke.LOL
18. Do you like yourself? – yeah i like myself..i think :)?
19. Piercing – ears
20. Tattoos – i dont have one.but i draw on my hand :)
21. Right or left – left:)
FIRSTS
22. First surgery – wala pa ata...
23. First piercing – ears
24. First best friend – Ina :(+
.26. First sport – badminton
27. First pet – puppy!!! <3
28. First vacation – baguio ata?
30. First crush - i think si carlo ata...ewan!cant remember haha
CURRENTLY (As of October 5, 2007)
49. Eating – choco mucho :)
50. Drinking - water
51. About to – play Sims
52. Listening to – falling so high
53. Waiting for – a call :)
54. Wearing – pambahay
56. Want to get married – yeah!
67. Careers in mind – mom,interior designer,diplomat,CEO :D
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
68. Lips or eyes – his eyes and SMILE na din :D
69. Hugs or kisses – hugs!! i love hugs!!!
70. Shorter or taller – taller :))
71. Tan skinned or light skin – depande :)
72. Romantic or spontaneous – pwede both?haha
73. Dark or light hair – hm..dark :)
74. Muscular or normal – normal! parang kadiri pag muscular..except if its abs.abs mehn...abs=hot.hahaha
75. Hook-up or relationship – relationship!!haha
76. Similar to you or different –bahala na..ewan.haha
HAVE YOU EVER….
78. Kissed a stranger – define kiss.(is beso counted as a kiss?haha)
80. Broken a bone –no.and dont want to.:)
81. Climbed up a tree –i think...hahaha
82. Broken someone's heart – uhh...no comment :
83. Turned someone down – no comment again :
84. Liked a friend as more than a friend – yeah!and its a B*tch :
DO YOU BELIEVE IN….
86. Yourself – not really...
89. Santa Claus – yup!:D yak...parang bata pa eh..hahaha
90. Kiss on the first date – ewan.haha
91. Angels – yeah!my friends!weh /:) hahaha
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
92. Are there one or more people you want to be with right now? – OO.tae...:'(
93. Do you hang out with these people?- minsan nalang..:(
94. Are you cool? – have no idea and dont care :D
LASTS
95. Text message – jem
96. Received call – jem
97. Call made to – none
98. Comment on Friendster – krisha :)
99. Missed Call – kenn
100. Person you hung out with – bus mates :)
101. You hugged – SHAI!!!:D
103. You talked to – jem
104. You slapped – no one.but i wanna slap someone >:) hahaha
105. Said I love you to -si ____ :)

damn!!

Damn!!my cellphone was confiscated!!how ugh is that?!grr...so guys am just using my Sun number now ok?:((

something that hindi ko maalis sa utak ko...:)

:) i really love these...+

"there are tulips in the street,
there are tulips in the park,
but nothing compares to our two lips meeting in the dark..."
+
"ill love you forever,
ill like you as always,
as long as im living...my baby you'll be.."